I will forgive...but i wont forget...

For·give (fr-gv, fôr-) 1. To excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon. 2. To renounce anger or resentment against.

"Hate is like an acid. It destroys the vessel in which it is stored."- Ann Landers

So...i know i have a million things on my plate that i am going to attempt to accomplish for 2010...but i think i am going to be bold and add one more. FORGIVENESS.

Have you ever noticed, that when you are angry at someone for wronging you and causing you pain, that it is so much easier to resent or hate them then it is to forgive them? It's so much easier to remain angry then it is to take those steps to becoming happy again. Most of the time we don't want to forget because we are naturally programmed to dwell on what is making us unhappy. Well guess what, NEWSFLASH!!!! Hate and resentment are a BURDEN. We bare this burden as a heavy weight on our hearts and minds. We let it cripple us, so at the end of the day, yes, that person might have hurt us, but the only thing keeping us from being happy after the fact, is ourselves. It is our inability to let go of the past and just move forward.

Listen, forgiving the person isn't for them, you're doing this for yourself. Forgiveness equals freedom. Release that burden because at the end of the day, the hate you feel towards that person doesn't harm them in any way. They are moving on with their lives while your dwelling on the "how could they's?" and "why did they?". Don't try to understand it because you'll make yourself crazy trying to come up with the answers and chances are THEY aren't even sure why they did it. Remember...forgiving the person doesn't mean you have to forget or block out what they did, it means you acknowledge it and move forward and leave those hurt feelings in the past where they belong.

This is my gift to you, i came across these 9 steps toward forgiveness on learningtoforgive.com and i thought i should share them with you in this blog.


1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate what about the situation is not OK. Then, tell a trusted couple of people about your experience.

2. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else.

3. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning of their action. What you are after is to find peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the "peace and understanding that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story."

4. Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts and physical upset you are suffering now, not what offended you or hurt you two minutes - or ten years -ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings.

5. At the moment you feel upset practice a simple stress management technique to soothe your body's flight or fight response.

6. Give up expecting things from other people, or your life , that they do not choose to give you. Recognize the "unenforceable rules" you have for your health or how you or other people must behave. Remind yourself that you can hope for health, love, peace and prosperity and work hard to get them.


7. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you. Instead of mentally replaying your hurt seek out new ways to get what you want.


8. Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you. Forgiveness is about personal power.

9. Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive.



I love step #8. "Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge". Ain't that the truth!!! So from this point on...a life well lived is the only kind of life i see for myself in the future. YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME ANYMORE. I pity the day you awake from your dream and see what a big mistake you have made, one that is irreversible. As for me, i officially, forgive you, or I will at least spend the next year trying to...Rome wasn't built in day...

I almost cried when i saw this...what a wake up call...

"We all have responsibilities..."

Music Heals The Soul...

I really dig this song...but the video...mmmmmm...not so much...lol Wish we could have seen Keri more glammed up...