All i did was blink...

Wow! Is it me, or did this year fly by? Last year, during this time, i would have never guessed i would be where i am today. So much has changed in these last 9 months. I found out i was pregnant, i went from being in love to being lost to eventually finding my way, i left NY, i went from having it all to having nothing at all and then realizing i have all i need.

As i was spending quality time with my family today, i realized how much i cant wait to do it all again next year for the first time with my son.

We take so much for granted, and there were some days i thought to myself...Why me? Why now? I can't believe this is happening to me? What did i do to ever deserve this much pain and suffering? You know what got me through it, the thought that it could be worse. STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF, BECAUSE IT COULD BE SO MUCH WORSE! Today, i realized how much i have grown from last year to this year. I put so much importance in people and material things that actually weren't that important at all. In the blink of an eye, i grew into a completely different person. I woke up. I evolved.

All of my priorities have changed, and 2010 is going to be a completely different experience for me. I am so excited to see what 2010 has in store. Even though 2009 is one big blur, 2010 begins my memories and my life with my son and for that alone i feel like this is going to be such a positive year. I am so happy to be ending a year filled with so many negative memories and beginning a new one with one of the most positive outlooks i think i have ever had. I know now exactly what i don't want...what qualities i don't want in a man, i know i don't want to ever feel this way again emotionally, and i never want to make someone my priority again, when i was only an "option" in their life.

I'll never be an option again, you know why, because in 2010, I'm beginning the year as the number one person in someones life; my son's.

I'm looking forward to motherhood, I'm looking forward to a new outlook on life, I'm looking forward to starting fresh. I'm looking forward to the idea of falling in love all over again, this time with someone who thinks the world of me. I'm looking forward to life, and what it throws my way. I'm looking forward to turning twenty-five, and graduating school in June. I'm looking forward to starting my new career, making music, being creative, forgiving, and just living life in a more positive manor. I'm looking forward to 2010, are you? What would you like to change, or what have you already changed? Think about this. I know we always have a new years revolution, and often we get caught up and forget all about that thing we promised ourselves we would accomplish. Let's actually make it happen this year, let's turn it all around for the better. I want you all to be excited for 2010, and i want you all to make this one of the best years of your life. I wish you all my love and most of all i wish you all the best in everything you do and try to accomplish. MAY YOU ALL THRIVE THIS YEAR, and may you all smile every step of the way.

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-Nikki Fresh